Orphan Care
Her Nanny’s Love
The nanny strokes the head lying in the crook of her arm. “You’re so cute,” she croons. Then to me, “he’s just unbelievably adorable.” I smile, and glance at the little one in her arms. He grins up at me, kicks his little feet… it doesn’t take long and I am smitten as well.
“Is he your favorite?” I ask. I learned early that when a child has been chosen as a favorite, a life is changed. Even in a place like this, where each little one is cared for equally, held for the same percentage of the day, and hears the same voices, the babies know that they are chosen.
I think that there must be something special, hidden deep inside each child’s heart, which responds to love. It’s like radar… their little hearts send out signals, searching for echoes of love from our own hearts. And when the beams collide, magic happens. The child changes, grows, flourishes. He doesn’t have to wait for a family; a nanny can help make that change.
“Of course,” she says. “But she’s my favorite too. They both are.” She’s referring to the sweet one in my arms… so sick, but so loved. This baby is my favorite, there’s no doubt about that. Just ask the nannies, they all know. I think that I chose her because she was hard; hard to care for, hard to love. Somehow, I thought that she needed extra love that I could give. She needed to be a favorite.
“They’re both my favorites,” she continues, “but she… she’s hard. Loving her makes my heart hurt.”
The look in her eyes speaks volumes, and empathy fills my soul. I know just what she means. Loving this precious one aches; it digs deep and pierces the tender parts of my heart. That’s what loving dangerously is all about, though, and I just can’t escape. I can’t escape from her… from loving her.
But it’s true, it makes my heart hurt. And it makes her nanny’s heart hurt too.
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Hannah Samuels
When Hannah traveled to China in 2002 with her parents to adopt her sister Elisabeth, she fell in love with the country and people. In 2004, when her other sister Naomi was adopted, she started dreaming of going back. It took 5 years for that dream to come true. She now serves in a foster home for special needs orphans in China. Hannah spends her days studying, writing for the foster home and on her personal blog, Loving Dangerously, and most importantly, holding babies. Hannah loves the adventure of living overseas with her family. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
In Action
It was after a Focus on the Family broadcast during Adoption Awareness Month four or five years ago about Antioch Adoptions that God first started tugging us toward orphan ministry. We had decided we couldn’t afford to adopt but perhaps God was calling us to help others instead. Antioch Adoptions provides fee-free services in Washington state in an effort to get kids into homes. We figured that if they could do it so could we. That was just the tip of the iceberg. Years later, God has opened our eyes and hearts to a much bigger picture than adoption.
Over the past couple years, we’ve taken in hundreds of hours of conference audio, webinars, and books that basically led us to this conclusion–Everyone is called to orphan care (not adoption, orphan care). Orphan care comes in all shapes and sizes.
As you read the story, see if you can pick out all the different people and ways they helped orphans.
About 3 years ago, Patrick and I had a vision to see an Ethiopian orphan hosting program come to our church–these programs bring eligible orphans (usually ages 8 to 15) to the U. S. to spend 4 to 8 weeks for a “cultural experience.” Many of these children are able to find forever families. The problem was no programs to that country existed, and we were not equipped to start one.
We had all but forgotten about it when an old friend called and said, “I’ve just been hired by AWAA to start an Ethiopian hosting program in Maryland, do you want to help?” Um-mm…yeah!
Ten months later, 5 families (coincidentally all acquaintances of ours) welcomed Ethiopian children into their homes for a month. Throughout that month, the community came together to provide lots of American experiences to the kids from a trip to the zoo to an old-fashioned, American birthday party. Generous donations from the community allowed us to send an extra suitcase back with each child packed chock full of stuff for their orphanage.
By God’s grace, each of the 5 children have families (either their host family, a family they met while here, or a family who was able to connect to their host family some other way).
Recently, one of the families traveled for their court date in Ethiopia. They needed someone to watch their kids while they traveled. We volunteered but needed someone to watch our dog since the kids were allergic. Another host family volunteered.
It may seem trivial as you read it, but from where we watch, the beauty of the community working together to bring these 5 children home is astounding…
it’s the Gospel in action.
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Melissa Corkum
Patrick and Melissa, who was adopted from Korea as an infant, have two biological children and a son adopted at age 2 1/2 from Korea. In May they, started a paper chase for a sibling group from Ethiopia. They reside in Maryland where they started a ministry called Grafted Families. Its goal is to serve Gospel-centered churches as they care for orphans and vulnerable children. Melissa also has a photography business that specializes in adoption homecoming and foster family photography. You can get to know Melissa better on her personal blog and Patrick on his personal blog.
The Beauty
“Mommy, do they have stickers in Africa?” my Grace asked.
“Um…..I didn’t see any. I’m sure they do though.”
After some thought, she continues, “It’s got to hurt those kids…walking on their bare feet like they do….”
I smile weakly and think, I’m sure it does.
I received an email this week from a young man I came to know while in Uganda. We met briefly at the children’s prison. He spoke English. He was 18. His name was Kiyemba Walter Trevor. I spoke with him for just a moment, and after a short introduction, he was already a kindred spirit, warning me of some boys who were talking about stealing my things, telling me about his school and love for art and drawing (kindred spirit indeed!), describing how he came to live for the past two weeks in this one room prison with 30 other boys. And, when I gave him my Bible, he cried that it was the “best day of his life.”
There was so much beauty in that moment. Beauty I’ll never be able to describe. It didn’t come from me, or even him necessarily. It came from being directly, immediately, in the stark center of God’s will. Doing exactly what He purposed me to do, using these inexperienced hands to fulfill a prayer from Walter who had prayed just days earlier for a Bible of his own.
I miss that. In the days of this Christmas season, I find that there is nothing I’d rather think about or talk about or read about, than that very subject. Trying to figure out how to be brave. Bold. The Matthew 16:25 kind of bold…..”for whoever tries to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”
The ability to lose your life, but find it. The Beauty of being in His fullness.
Grace asked that question because she knows it has been on my mind. She, in her own way, is trying to bond with me, figure me out, share an experience with me – it’s sweet. I hope this Christmas, she’ll understand why mommy kind of gets quiet every now and then.
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A mom of two, wife of one, and teacher to many. God blessed me with an unbelievable partner in life who encourages me to dive deeper. I didn’t know how deep until July 2011, I had the opportunity to travel with Visiting Orphans to Uganda. For 14 days, we divided our time between weeping for the imprisoned children and orphans in poverty and staring in awe at their undeniable faith, joy, and communion with Christ. I was forever changed. My mission then came to help Sixty Feet, an organization that desires to bring hope to the imprisoned children of Africa in God’s name. I refurbish furniture as a side hobby-job and give part of the profits to Sixty Feet. So far, over $900 has been given to Sixty Feet and Amazima combined. God opened my eyes…now they can never be shut.
All Fall Down
For a while now, my dreams have been of paperwork and notaries. Every night. This was one of many reasons why I was so grateful to turn over the paperwork and start the wait.
I’ve been having a new dream: A tiny bright light in the distance, beaming with an intensity that pulses like a heartbeat. It’s beautiful.
But there are thoughts you have in the darkness that no one prepares you for.
Right now, adoption is literally under attack. There is much concern about trafficking and adoption abuse. When you begin the adoption journey, these facts hit you in the face and chase you in the night.
What if my child could have remained with their parents for a few dollars a month? What if there is a mother crying in the night for the child she just gave up due to poverty?
It’s enough to make you quit. Or take the entire adoption loan and donate it to a mother, or a family, or a village.
Dr. Jane Aronson responded to the recent adoption concerns in the Huffington Post yesterday: “Why did we create such a marvelous bureaucracy to improve international adoption practices and not pour some of that money into the welfare of mothers in these countries?”
The reality is that if we feed the mothers, we feed the children. If we educate the mothers, we save the children. If we give parents access to antiretroviral medications for HIV/AIDS, lives are saved and families remain intact.
I have noticed that parents of internationally adopted children naturally fall into a common stream of charities or causes. You would think it would be “Adopt! We did it! It’s great!” It is; but it’s not. The causes are AIDS, poverty, and clean water. It is a natural progression to care for these things when you care for a child affected by AIDS, poverty, and famine. Promoting these issues are promoting orphan care.
There is a major dilemna that we all must face as Christians at some point. As Americans, we are ALL wealthy in comparison to the rest of this world. As Americans, we are known to the rest of this world as a “Christian nation.”
Americans give to the hungry at a low percentage of their GNP (gross national product) in comparison to other nations. What are we, as individual wealthy Christian Americans, telling the poverty-stricken world around us about Jesus Christ? What are we telling the world about the Gospels?
We are NOT the widow giving up her two coins.
We are the rich, making a big show of our tiny gifts.
Our adoption is not fixing any large problem. It is just an act of obedience. You may not feel called to adopt, but I will tell you that you can still do something to impact the orphan crisis in a huge way…you can sponsor a child. You can be an active voice for the hungry and the poor, putting action behind your voice. You can be aware that “if you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than seventy five percent of the people in the world.”
We can raise our children to understand that our wealth is determined by what we give to Jesus, not what we keep for ourselves. We can give until it hurts; the essense of “sacrificial giving.” It’s a lesson that I think I will have to spend the rest of my life learning, as I struggle to un-learn the American Dream and realign myself with the words of Jesus Christ.
When I get caught up in the ethics of adoption, I remember the waiting children in the videos. Waiting in cribs that are lined up like kennels. Waiting in beds lined with chicken wire, crying for their loss of everything, waiting for us to figure out what to do with them, while we argue over pie charts about how to do it.
Paul and I have been called to carry one of these children, maybe more than one, as our own. I don’t know why. I don’t have to. It’s just The Plan. What happens after that point will be our mission and responsibility for the rest of our lives; to care for and promote that child’s country, to bring to the attention of other Christians the poverty and disease that is swallowing children and people whole. I am grateful for this burden.
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Missy Roepnack
Missy and Paul Roepnack live in Cary, NC, with their two daughters Lilly and Daisy. After two children, six years of marriage, and a lifetime of lukewarm to room-temperature faith, they met Jesus. They quickly realized that there were two more little people missing from their family, and found them in Ethiopia. Join in on the ”fun” as they seek the sanity and strength that will be needed to outrun four children under four years old at The Oasis.
{Advocating} He’s Ready
I want to tell you about a little boy called Lei Xiao Feng (lay shou[t - without the t] fung). He is the most amazing boy that I have ever met, so joyful and energetic. I had the joy of spending 5 short but incredible days with him. Each day, I felt myself loving him more and more and, at the same time, realizing that I would have to say goodbye.
My translator and I met him on the Monday morning when we were introduced to a timid 8-year-old boy. He didn’t say much at first, but it must have been a scary experience – being taken out of his orphanage and meeting a Westerner! We can be pretty scary. But, he soon warmed up when we had lunch – his favorite, as he said – dumplings and noodles (they say food is the way to a man’s heart, right?). We played some games, like football and basketball, and watched him come alive. This boy’s got a real talent for sports. Throughout the week, he even took to some new sports like volleyball and badminton.
He loved to be picked up, especially to be put on our shoulders (where he must have spend half of the week!!) and on our backs. He quickly picked up on the fact that I couldn’t speak Chinese, so we played a lot of charades. When he wanted to go on my back or shoulders, he would point and pat at his back and say something like “ba” in an attempt to say back. And, of course, I had to oblige.
We asked him if he would like an English name since a lot of the older kids do. He eagerly said yes, and we started thinking of one that would suit him. I went through heaps of names but none of them seemed to work. We even thought of putting my name (Rob) with my translator’s name (Jeremy) to make a new name — Jerob. Someone gave the suggestion of Jacob, and I knew instantly that it was the one! He was a Jacob! By the end of the week, he responded so happily to Jacob — perhaps it made him feel more a part of us to have a new name with us.
When I think about Jacob, two special memories come to mind.
We were on the basketball court. He noticed the net, and other kids attempting to score. He made a few feeble attempts, but it was obvious to all of us that jump as he may, he was just too short to get it in. But, he kept trying…with no success. I scooped him up and put him on his favorite spot–my shoulders. After a few tries, he got it. He made his first basket. We were all laughing and smiling, enjoying his thrill of success. I know I will remember that moment for a long time — but I’m pretty certain that Lei Xiao will remember it longer.
During the camp, we took all the kids to a water fountain show. Picture a wide open space with water shooting up from the ground, synchronized to music. It looked amazing to us. And, the orphans who were with us were maybe even more amazed, having never seen anything like it. The image still playing in my head of Jacob spinning around in the water and simply dancing with his beaming smile is one I think about all the time.
Likely, because two of his fingers on his right hand are different, he became an orphan. But, what some may call a “handicap” has not handicapped him at all. He does everything an 8-year-old boy can do–except hold the hands of a mom and dad.
His name–Lei Xiao Feng–means something along the lines of “thunder of a small mountain peak.” We were told that it’s a very strong name, given in hope that he would be outstanding and find himself on top of the world. Yet, he waits. Alone.
I have no doubt that he would strive in a family, having people to love him, care for him. He is such a joyful, lovable, amazing kid. He really is a joy to be around. I miss him. I pray his family will find him soon. He’s ready to meet them.
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Please visit here to see a video Rob put together about Lei Xiao
And, please email Kelly@wearegraftedin.com if you are interested in learning more about him. Additional pictures and medical information are available.
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Rob Molloy is from Dublin in Ireland. He recently graduated from Secondary School and will be starting University shortly. This past summer, he spent 2 life-changing weeks in China with Bring Me Hope serving through summer camps for orphans. He fell in love with China and Chinese orphans and feels God has put these precious children on his heart for a lifetime.
Encore: 20 Ways to Become an Adoption-Friendly Church
Posted on We Are Grafted In on November 19th, 2010…
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- Pray – Pray that potential couples will be sensitive to the Lord’s leading in their lives. Pray that the church as a whole steps up its involvement in assisting adoptive families.
- Preach key passages on caring for orphans and spiritual adoption – Passages like James 1:26-27 remind us that pure and faultless religion emphasizes care for those who are least able to care for themselves. Ephesians 1:3-5 portrays the act of physical adoption as a great object lesson for spiritual adoption in Christ.
- Invite guest speakers to raise awareness of adoption needs and opportunities – Those who lead adoption ministries can share their passion with your church. Give church members the opportunity to hear about these needs while giving them ways to help.
- Make adoption resources available to the church family – A wealth of adoption resources—both secular and Christian—can be helpful to couples considering adoption. Most of the time, misconceptions about the adoption process keep families from considering adoption. The church can provide helpful facts for couples to make informed decisions.
- Freqently list proadoption ministries and organizations – List them in your church bulletin and have a “resources” link on your church website connecting to these fine ministries. You help these ministries by making them known to your people, but you also assist your people by providing accessibility to helpful resources.
- Encourage couples facing infertility to connect with adoptive parents – Some couples hop onto the emotional roller coaster of infertility drugs and in the process incur huge medical expenses. Graciously counsel those couples to consider the privilege of parenting an adopted child (before their emotions and finances are exhausted).
- Regularly have adoptive parents and birth mothers share their testimony of God’s goodness and grace – Testimonies can be powerful reminders to the congregation of what “good” can come out of a “bad” situation as ordained by God.
- Education your church family regarding the costs involved in adoption – Members may be unaware of the expenses involved in adoption such as to pay for home studies, background checks, attorney fees, airfare and travel costs (especially for international adoptions). Adoption costs vary from a few thousand dollars to $20,000 or more. The cost should not scare off potential adoptive families but should motivate the church as a whole to “count the cost” and offer assistance.
- Encourage the church family to give financially to adoptive couples – Giving financially to adoptive parents is one of the most—if not the most—significant things you can do. As potential couples take the giant step of faith in the adoption process, one of the biggest concerns will be “how are we going to pay for this”? A monetary gift along with a note of encouragement can greatly encourage the couple by affirming their decision to pursue adoption.
- Create a standing church fund for adoption costs – Members can contribute to this special fund that adoptive families can utilize (either an interest-free loan or one-time gifts to these couples). Churches can also take up a special Deacons’ Fund offering.
- Challenge Sunday School classes and small groups to raise money for adoptive couples – Love offerings help lessen the financial burden of adoption while exhibiting how members of the body of Christ can encourage and support each other. Imagine the surprise on the couples’ faces when they discover that their own Sunday school class sacrificially gave to help in the adoption of their child.
- Establish an adoptive parents’ small group – Get a key person in the church to take this on as a ministry. Meet on a monthly or quarterly basis as needed. This support group provides encouragement for those couples who have adopted, are in the midst of the adoption process, or are contemplating adoption.
- Create email list-serves of adoptive parents for support and encouragement - Since the adoption process brings emotional highs and lows, staying connected by email can prove helpful—especially when a couple needs a timely word of encouragement.
- Connect with local social service agencies – Most counties and states have child welfare and foster care programs in which Christians should be involved. Many times there is financial assistance for those families who are foster parents or are in foster-adopt programs.
- Use attorneys or case workers within the church family – Some lawyers specializing in family law are willing to donate their time and expertise to assist a church family with the legal documents for adoption. Such volunteers provide both financial savings and peace of mind.
- Sponsor a child – Find ministries of like faith and encourage members to pray for and financially support orphan and adoption ministries.
- Participate in mission trips to orphanages abroad – What better way to raise awareness for adoption than to experience the desperate living conditions of others?
- Maximize special holidays to emphasize adoption – When adoption needs are presented with sensitivity and discernment, Mother’s and Father’s Day can be an ideal time to raise awareness of adoption. A special offering could be collected for an adoptive couple. An adopted child or adoptive parent could give testimony to God’s gift of a family to them. At an annual Sanctity of Life day, typically the third Sunday each January, discussion of adoption can be a poignant reminder to the church of the devastation of abortion and, at the same time, a powerful prompting for the church to become adoption-friendly. Recognize Orphan Sunday in November, using the myriad of resources available online to focus on the needs of orphans worldwide and the blessing of adoption.
- Celebrate adoption as a church family – Affirm those who pray and encourage others to adopt. Encourage those who give financially to adoptive parents. Celebrate the living object lesson of Ephesians 1:3-6.
- Support adopted kids as they struggle with attachment and questions of identity, abandonment, or rejection – Adoption is the ultimate expression and outworking of loving the modern-day orphan. While not every Christian will be led by God to adopt, the church can and should do what it can to encourage and facilitate adoption.
Will you help your church become adoption friendly?
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Paul Golden
Paul has been married to Marbeth Showers for over 11 years. They are the parents of Jeremy through adoption (8 years old) and Joy (7 years old). Paul graduated from Baptist Bible Seminary in 1995 with his Master of Divinity degree and serves as Director of Admissions at BBS. During his off hours, he enjoys playing keyboard on the worship team, doing pulpit supply, and short-term mission trips. He is also a sports fan of the NY Yankees and NY Giants.
Encore: God Doesn’t Need Me
Eden
Published on September 26, 2010 on We Are Grafted In…
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This is our daughter, just after she arrived at the orphanage. Taken by a doctor who wanted to show us the extent of her malnourishment.
Yes, the orphan crisis is one of the few things that keeps me up at night. Children not only abandoned to AIDS, poverty, and war but then subject to exploitation at the hands of traffickers in their own hometowns . . . and in my hometown. The lump in my throat comes not at the vast numbers of children orphaned throughout the world but at the mental image of one single child. Cracked lips, hair matted from sweat, dirt caked fingernails, and bloodshot eyes from yet another night of poor sleep on the street.
Millions of little cross-bearers fill our earth without someone to help carry their load. I have yet to hear a story of an orphan enfolded into a home that didn’t reek of pain. The weight of my own personal pain has seemed unbearable at times, but it doesn’t hold a candle to what some of these 6 and 7 year-old orphans have faced. Alone. Their tolerance for pain stretched thin and at an age where I didn’t have one “ouchie” go unkissed.
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Eden’s ballet class is tomorrow. She dances around the room in a flurry of African hip-jerks and pirouette attempts. In her leotard and tights, the only thing that distinguishes her from her classmates (also learning to harness their energy into beauty) is her size. I sometimes forget that her petite frame didn’t come because God intended her to be pint-sized but because, as an infant, she spent her days laying alone next to the field where her father worked. No breast to feed this little ballerina.
As I futilely try to wrap my mind around how I see one of the world’s greatest crises—a child plodding through life parentless—there is one conclusion, however, that I keep coming back to.
God doesn’t need me.
I have to admit there are times when I’ve approached this crisis (and even our own adoption as an answer) with a virulent pride, albeit subtle. On the surface, it comes in the form of seeing myself orchestrating a rescue mission. But, a few layers deep reveals a fissure in my understanding of God. He did not create this crisis—but that does not mean He is powerless to fix it. And, when the catalyst for my actions is the belief that God needs me to respond, He is relegated to a copilot. I become the healer; He becomes my helper as I heal.
The end result of this line of thinking or an intimate peak into the things God cares about can look the same: zealous passion for the things on God’s heart. But, the source of that passion is everything.
As we move forward with our next adoption, I wrestle with pride about how I am responding to (what I perceive to be) one of the world’s greatest crises. And, when I’m there, I am usually furiously chasing paperwork and breathing down my social worker’s neck to see if we could possibly speed things up and get these children home sooner.
And, at times, I rest my head on His chest, like I used to do with my dad when I was a child, and I hear His heartbeat for these little ones. And, I ache with the pain that He allows me to feel from His heart. And, when I’m there . . . I am usually furiously chasing paperwork and breathing down my social worker’s neck to see if we could possibly speed things up and get these children home sooner.
I believe God cares more about the source of my passion than the reach of its output. My invitation to participate is less about meeting a need than it is about walking more deeply with the Father. And, this hard-won truth has come after years of zealous pride in my “work.”
I know now that there are two rescue missions going on in this adoption. He’s rescuing my heart, even more still. He’s giving me a window into how He feels about orphans. His heartbeat. His plan. And He’s tenderly letting me in on His work, in the same way I allow my little Caleb to help me cook. He’s drawing me in deeper into Himself by using me in the life of a child He could so easily save without me.
And He’s putting the lonely—two of them, in this case—in a family. Even under our roof and in our arms, they will still need Jesus. Clean water, soft skin, and big comfy beds are what He lets me provide, among other things. But, the power to save rests not in my hands.
He likes it when we respond to His heart, and the world is brought more deeply in line with His kingdom when we do so. It’s just that, actually, God doesn’t need me.
He chooses to invite me.
Eden before her first ballet class, 17 months later
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Sara Hagerty
Sara and her husband, Nate, have been married for nine years and brought home their two children from Ethiopia last year and just recently brought home two more from Uganda! They have a heart for prayer and to see people touched by the love of Jesus. What started as a blog chronicling the ups and downs of adoption has become a passion for Sara. You can read more of her musings on orphans, walking with God through pain and perplexity . . . and spinach juice at Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet.
What Every Child Should Know
Every child should know they are a miracle. It haunts and breaks me to think of kids right here in my town and across this globe that will never know love. It is a devastating reality. Sometimes it can be easy just not to think about ‘those’ kids. It can be easy not wrestle with things outside of our comfort and have to deal with what you feel as result. But the easy way in most life is usually the least rewarding….and least exciting for that matter.
Foster care…adoption…orphan trusts….child sponsorship…..respite care….supporting those that adopt…..
SO MANY WAYS TO MAKE SURE A CHILD KNOWS LOVE.
Last year I shared about my friend Angie who was selling gorgeous headbands and bags to raise money for her adoption. She just returned from China with her little girl! They have a beautiful story and my family will forever be changed because they were willing to share it.
Angie led me to Nicole & Katie. I was daily checking photographer Nicole Renee’s family blog while she was in China meeting her daughter and preparing to bring her home. Aren’t the best stories the real life ones? Can you believe how gorgeous Brooklyn is? What an incredible gift she must be to her parents!
And then there is Kate….Katie is in the starting stages of her adoption of a little girl in the Congo. You can read on her blog about their process and their fundraising.…and how cute is her family!
Earlier this year I shared about a new friend I met during the craft weekend at Meg’s. I remember sitting in the back of a van learning all about Amy and her family. She’s the NASA all-star that sent me the Astronaut Legos! She shared about her amazing son Ben. If you visit her blog you’ll see how Ben lights up the whole space. Ben is an incredible kid…and he has Down syndrome. Amy began looking around Reece’s Rainbow – part of Reece’s Rainbow’s mission is “to rescue orphans with Down syndrome through the gift of adoption.” It didn’t take long before Amy’s family began the process to welcome another son into their family. They are working hard at bringing little Davis home…. meet Davis:
A big brown eyed cutie, he lives in Ukraine right now. But he’s got a big brother in America who also has Down Syndrome….and those two boys need to be together. Their mommy needs Davis in her arms! Go here to learn about the Jupins, about Davis, and how you can help bring Davis home!
About 2 years ago, I shared a little session I did with my good friends Robert & Rachel. They were getting their family book together for a domestic adoption. Since that time they’ve added two handsome boys to their family. Not only have they gained two sons, through open adoptions they have been given an incredible gift to have healthy relationships with the strong women that gave life to their boys. This is Rachel and her youngest son (yeah, she’s gorgeous).
So, yeah, we can make a difference. Maybe it is opening your home to a child currently in the foster care system. Maybe it is looking beyond what a medical form says and finding your child waiting in another country. Maybe it is being the answer to the heart cry of a birth mom in your town. Maybe it is supporting someone else on an adoption journey. Maybe it is advocacy and raising awareness. Maybe it is babysitting for those foster care parents you met the other day or playing a game of basketball at a nearby DHS shelter. You can make a difference. I can make a difference. And really….why wouldn’t we?
Because every child deserves to know love & security.
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Ashley Campbell
Ashley’s days consist of a lots of Legos and lots of seemingly mundane moments. As mom to four kids (boys 3, 5, 7 and a 2 year old daughter) she finds the most beauty in those mundane moments and relishes the adventure of parenthood with her husband Chris. Aside from an addiction to painting everything that doesn’t move, she is passionate about all areas of orphan care and social justice issues especially as they relate to children. Ashley chronicles her adventures as a mom, crafter, photographer and advocate her her blog, Under the Sycamore.
Are You Up for a Challenge?
I’ve spent the last 7 years working with orphans – first through adoption and then hands on at New Day Foster Home in China. Now, I admire my daughter’s beautiful smile, figure out how to make her laugh, and generally try to learn how to mother a 5-month-old gracefully. It is such a change…. Some days, I’m completely engrossed in my daughter; and other days, I miss my “other” life… the one surrounded by children many have forgotten.
In my new role as a stay-at-home-mom to a busy baby, I’ve been praying for ways to stay connected to the orphans I love. It’s funny how those prayers always get answered. A few weeks ago, someone wrote me asking if I could post something on my blog about a matching grant she wanted to offer NDFH.
Here’s what she wrote:
I’m just a mom. Just like most of you. I scurry from soccer games to choir, grocery store to library, dishwasher to washing machine. And then finally I fall into bed. Sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day, that I forget to look at the horizon, stop and enjoy creation and see the big picture of life. Do you ever feel like that? I know that there is more than “just keeping up.” In James 1:27 we are commanded to look after the widows and orphans in their distress. If you are anything like me you read that and think “but what can little old me do in my small world?” In the midst of our every day comforts we lose sight of the fact that necessities are not equal to wants. Yes, the economy is not what it used to be. Yes, gasoline is on the rise. But how many dollars do we waste and not even blink at it. To an orphan, every dollar counts and makes a difference.
As most of you know, the first step for many Special Needs kids is to have the surgery they need before they can move toward adoption with their forever families. Please join me in a “Surgery Fund Challenge” for the new kids at New Day Foster Home. For every dollar pledged, another dollar will be matched up to a maximum of $5,000. (Carrie’s Comment: THAT’S A TOTAL OF $10,000 YA’LL!) Did you know that if just 200 people will commit to $25 we could meet the match amount? Will you consider: giving up eating out for lunch or dinner just once, maybe twice; a pedicure; a couple of Starbucks; or a hair cut and pledge that amount to this fund? Perhaps you could hold a garage sale and give some of your proceeds to the fund; collect aluminum cans; have a bake sale at a soccer tournament and pledge that amount to this fund? Your sacrifice will make a difference to these kids.
Like many of you, I read the blogs, study the faces of these children, know them instantly by name, and celebrate the arrival of their families. That is nice, but in my heart I know there needs to be more. I realized I can’t make a difference if I sit on the sidelines. Please stand up with me for these kids and pledge whatever you can. Together we can make a difference. Click on the ChipIn button to donate directly to the New Day Foster Home Surgery account.
Thanks for your consideration,
From a Mom just like you
Do you get what she’s doing?! A “Mom just like you” is going to match every dollar we give to this fundraiser up to $5,000. A total of $10,000! In a Chinese hospital, $10,000 is no small surgery; it would be a life-saving one.
As I hold my baby girl, I think about what it would take to stop me from getting her what she needed to save her life if it were at risk. I think you know the answer. There’s nothing that would stop me from doing all that I could. And nothing should stop us from doing all that we can to help save these lives. Maybe these babies aren’t “ours” — though if you are passionate about adoption, who knows if the life you might be helping to save is your someday son or daughter — but God has invited us to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. He has invited us to watch Him work and be amazed at how He provides for each and every one of these little ones.
Come on over to my blog and see the Chip In button to see how much has been raised. And, to make it a bit more personal to me, if you chip in $50 or more to this wonderful cause (and email me to let me know – I don’t have anyway of knowing who gives otherwise), I will make you a special little hairbow for your special little gal. (Or any special little gal in your life. Heck, you can even send it to a little girl at NDFH!)
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Carrie McKean
After recently returning to the USA from China, where she spent the last 3 years working at New Day Foster Home in Beijing with her husband, Carrie is learning the ropes of her new gig – being a stay-at-home mom to an adorable 5-month-old girl, Cora. Settling back into life in the USA is an adventure in its own right, and when she has time, she writes about life and their transition – but mostly just the antics of sweet little Cora – on her blog, Signs of Hope.
What if…
What if by some cruel twist of fate I woke up one morning to find that the tables were turned, and my beautiful and perfect Lily were lying in an orphanage, somewhere in Eastern Europe?
What if she had lived out the past 16 months of her life with no mommy and daddy to love her, no brothers and sisters to dote on her every day?
What if instead, she spent most of her waking hours in a crib, staring at the slats of the bars and playing with only her fingers or feet for comfort? What if she cried herself to sleep at night, because there was nobody who cared or had the time to attend to her when she woke up scared or lonely or sad?
What if she didn’t eat when she was hungry, go to sleep with a full belly, or have her basic needs met with loving care?
What if my Lily stayed in that orphanage for many years, never leaving it to see the world around her? What if the only connection she had to the outside world was an occasional trip to the playground on the orphanage grounds…but for the most part she was locked away, an outcast of society?
What if she never received the help she needed through therapy, never had the opportunity to develop skills, to grow, to learn.
What if she never got the medical attention she needed when she was first born, had attention given to that tiny hole in her heart that doctors watched so carefully. What if she survived simply because she existed, devoid of any quality of life?
What if she were never celebrated for the treasure that she is, never nurtured or praised or adored? What if there were no parties or gifts or songs to commemorate that beautiful day she made her entrance into the world, nothing that distinguished that day from any other day of her secluded and monotonous life?
What if, after being shut away in that orphanage for five years, she woke one morning to find herself being whisked away from the only home she’d ever known- however stark or isolated- to the horror that is the Institution? What if, because of the inability of any 5 year old, let alone one with cognitive delays, she could not comprehend what had happened to her? What if there were no one to explain to her why her head was being shaved, her tiny arms tied to a crib, or where her friends had gone, and why no one was coming back for her to save her from the nightmare that was now her life?
What if that were my Lily’s fate?
What would I do?
In the words of a dear friend…
I would beg, borrow, and obsess myself to make sure she knew love and felt valued and wanted. If Lily were alone on the other side of the ocean, I would find her and rescue her no matter what the cost or how much dignity needed to be compromised.
Albina is my Lily.
She’s no more deserving of the fate that awaits her than my child.
Or yours.
She is a beautiful and precious treasure, waiting for someone to recognize her value.
Albina is an orphan in Eastern Europe. Because she was born with Down syndrome, she is considered a burden to her society, an outcast to be hidden away.
An anonymous family has committed to matching dollar-for-dollar donations for her up to $5,000. So far, through the generosity of so many like-minded people, she now has $5,332.50 in her grant fund on Reece’s Rainbow; with the matching funds, her grant fund for her adoption is over $10,000.
I have a feeling her sweet little face is enough. But, due to the nature of international adoptions, it’s going to take a pile of money for someone to rescue her. And, I don’t want money to be the thing that stands in the way of Albina being given a chance at a normal life.
I truly believe it’s just a matter of time until Albina’s family comes forward for her–and we’re praying that time is short. Maybe they’re willing but not sure they can commit without a large grant fund to help them. Maybe you’re that family and reading these words and looking at her beautiful face is all the convincing you need.
But, we want to make it easy as possible for that family to take the step of faith and say, “Yes, she is our daughter.” And, so we’re raising money for her grant fund. We want to overwhelm that family with this grant fund, as we know God is able to do.
And, we’re giving an extra incentive for donors to be a part of this. Donate a minimum of $10 to Albina’s fund at Reece’s Rainbow and leave a comment on this post at A Perfect Lily saying you did so. And, we’re going to bless one donor with an amazing prize, a Canon EOS Rebel T2i worth $800.
The giveaway ends June 1st at midnight, so you only have a few more days to give for this sweet girl’s adoption fund. We will announce the winner June 2nd. And, then we will watch to see what God does for this little girl and for the family fortunate enough to make her their daughter and call her their own. Don’t miss being a part of it.
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Patti Rice
I’m a stay at home mama of 10, the youngest of whom has Down syndrome. I began a blog for Lily during my pregnancy when a few markers for Ds showed up on a routine ultrasound. What began as letters to her journaling my emotions, blossomed into a venue to advocate for children who share her diagnosis. I am forever grateful to God for giving us our daughter, and opening our eyes to the orphan crisis. We will never be the same.
