Abby Akers

{Hitting Repeat} The Gift

I came across this picture today. I’m so thankful that Wes captured one of the sweetest and hardest moments I have ever experienced.

I am forever grateful to Max’s birthmom for giving us the priceless gift of a 7 lb. 11 oz. baby boy.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her.

We love her dearly.

We pray for her daily.

Will you do me a favor? Please make it a point this week {or as long as you feel led to} to pray for birthmoms and their families. There are moms at this very moment who have chosen adoption as the best option for their baby.

Here are a few ideas to pray for.

* peace about their decision

* healing – physically and emotionally

* a loving support system surrounding them

* a tangible feeling of God’s love for them

________________________________________

Abby Akers

Abby has been married to her college sweetheart, Wes, since 2003. After 5 years of infertility, they began the journey of domestic adoption. Blessed with a (more than they had planned) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child, Max, in the summer of 2010. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with Max’s birth family. You can follow their story, including their second adoption journey at Akers of Love.

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My Diagnosis

We tried to get pregnant for five years before we began the adoption process. No diagnosis was ever determined for me. I remember thinking that, in some ways, it would have been nice to have an answer to why we were not getting pregnant. That way we could either have closure or fix the problem.

Now I know my diagnosis. It’s called, “God-had-other-plans-that-are-better-than-mine.” His plan far exceeded my expectations.

Even as we began our second adoption, I found myself reverting back to my old ways and forgetting that His ways are best.

When will I learn? Probably never. It’s a constant battle with me, but I am so thankful for God’s grace and patience.

Today, I’m asking you to pray for everyone who is in the adoption process right now. The process is hard, but God knows that and He wants us to come to Him with all of our doubts, fears and desires.

Here are a few suggestions for your prayer time.

*For peace as they wait to see how God’s plan unfolds.

*That God would remove any financial burden. God will provide!

* The adjustment of a new life joining the family.

* Wisdom for any decisions that need to be made during the adoption process.

* Patience for the waiting.

* That they would let go of the control and release their longing and desires to the Lord.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  Philippians 4:6

_________________________________

Abby Akers

Abby has been married to her college sweetheart, Wes, for 9 years. Three years ago, they began the journey of domestic adoption. Blessed with a (more than they had planned) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child, Max, in the summer of 2010.  Little brother, Sam, joined their team in September of 2012.  Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with their sons’ birth families.  You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

Gladness in my Sadness

I’ve left all of you lovely people out of the adoption loop for the past month.
Partly because some of the information that allows the story to make sense isn’t my story to tell.
But also because the reality of our adoption journey thus far is sometimes a little difficult to put into words.

I first told you about K, the birth mom we had been matched with, back in June.
Then, the birth father came into the picture.
Then, K began to say things to us that made us think she was probably going to keep her baby.
We found out that this was her final decision 3 weeks ago.

K and I have built a friendship over the past couple of months and I told her to keep me posted with any baby news.

I got a text Tuesday morning that she was in labor and that night she had her baby…not our baby.

Tuesday was a hard day for me.

But God took care of me as he always does.
He brought this verse to my mind.

This is the day the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24

Every time sadness, worry or fear crept in to my mind, Max and I would sing this song.
We sang it a lot on Tuesday.

I kept thinking…
If we were at the hospital meeting our new son that day, I would be rejoicing.
I would be glad.
That’s easy.

God reminded me that even in my sadness, I can be glad.
I can be glad because of all of the blessings He has given me. I have an amazing husband, a precious boy, great family and friends, a house, clothes, freedom and on and on and on.

But more than anything else, I can be glad because I have a relationship with Jesus.
I get to have a relationship with Jesus.
I felt His presence all day and Him saying to me, “I know this is hard, Abby, but this is so, so good for you. Trust me.”

So, in the midst of my sadness, I’m choosing gladness.

May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you.
Psalm 70:4

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Psalm 5:11

Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the Lord, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.
Isaiah 25:9

May you be glad in whatever circumstance God has you in today.

____________________________

Abby Akers

Abby has been married to her college sweetheart, Wes, for 8 years. After 5 years of infertility, they began the journey of domestic adoption. Blessed with a (more than they had planned) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child, Max, in the summer of 2010. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with Max’s birth family and as they journey through adoption number two. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

My Find at Salvation Army

Today, I was heading to the grocery store, but I had a feeling Max wouldn’t do well. We had already been running errands for a little over an hour, so I decided instead to go to The Salvation Army to see if I could find any treasures. I was going to do a quick walk-through – maybe I would find a cool piece of furniture or some clothes for Max. I found something much more amazing.

This nice lady was helping me figure out the price for a play kitchen set. She looked familiar, but I didn’t really think much about it.

I went on my way to hunt some more.

As I was walking up and down the isles, I heard another worker say the nice lady’s name. It’s a unique, unforgetable name and it’s the name of the first birthmom we met when we were going though our adoption journey. It clicked and I realized why she looked so familiar. I made a bee-line for her.

January 2010 – A birthmom wanted to meet us. We found out that she was from the Gary area, but was in a rehab center in the town we live in.  She would be having her baby in here. This for sure was the baby God had for us! We met her and the meeting went really well. She had it narrowed down to us and another couple. We were her #1 pick. The counselor said, “Birthmoms almost always go with their first choice. It’s just to make sure that they made the right decision.” She didn’t pick us. That was a humbling experience and we would love to know the reason she went with the other couple, but we know that God had other plans.

I started jabbering at her. Understandably, she was looking at me kind of nervous. I told her my name and then I’m pretty sure I said something like, “Did you give a baby up for adoption?” Not real smooth…Then I told her my name again along with Wes’ name and she said, “Oh yeah! Wes!” I then remembered how much she loved Wes. She has good taste.

We just assumed that this uniquely-named, nice lady would move back to the Gary area. I’m so thankful that God allowed our paths to cross again.

We hugged. She told me about her little girl and how she gets pictures every 3 months…and this month is one of those months…and she’s checking her mail every day for those pictures. {Such a good reminder for me to be extra prompt with my pictures to Max’s birthmom.}

She gave me an update about her life and I could tell that she was proud. She has her other children back, she has a job and she has a house and I believe her.

I started to get all teary-eyed as I told her how humbling it was to not be chosen, but that we knew that God had a different plan for our family. I wasn’t teary-eyed because of the not-being-chosen-part but because I was holding in my arms the different plan that God had for us.

God wants me to pray for her. I just know it.

And I can’t wait to go back to The Salvation Army.

________________________________________

Abby Akers

 

Abby has been married to her college sweetheart, Wes, for 8 years. After 5 years of infertility, they began the journey of domestic adoption. Blessed with a (more than they had planned) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child, Max, in the summer of 2010. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with Max’s birth family and as they journey through adoption number two. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

The Gift

I came across this picture today. I’m so thankful that Wes captured one of the sweetest and hardest moments I have ever experienced.

I am forever grateful to Max’s birthmom for giving us the priceless gift of a 7 lb. 11 oz. baby boy.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her.

We love her dearly.

We pray for her daily.

Will you do me a favor? Please make it a point this week {or as long as you feel led to} to pray for birthmoms and their families. There are moms at this very moment who have chosen adoption as the best option for their baby.

Here are a few ideas to pray for.

* peace about their decision

* healing – physically and emotionally

* a loving support system surrounding them

* a tangible feeling of God’s love for them

________________________________________

Abby Akers

Abby has been married to her college sweetheart, Wes, for 7 years. After 5 years of infertility, they began the journey of domestic adoption. Blessed with a (more than they had planned) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child, Max, in the summer of 2010. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with Max’s birth family and as they move forward to adopt again. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

Forgetful

We enjoyed many parks over this past summer…especially those with water.

No matter how many times Max has seen this fountain. {You know, the one that is going strong one minute and then stops the next.}

He always forgets that the fountain of water will return.

I am the same way when it comes to my faith in God. No matter how many times I have seen God’s faithfulness, I forget and start to think things through on my own. It never works and just leads to worry-filled thoughts that are only focused on me.

We would love to grow our family by adding more children to the mix. I get so worked up about it – poor Wes. Do we adopt again? Maybe I’ll get pregnant. Go through the same agency? Try a new one? What if I would get pregnant and I miscarry? When should we start the adoption process? What if we have a horrible experience with the birthmom? What if she changes her mind? Seriously, I could go on and on wasting your time and mine with these thoughts. Obviously, these aren’t evil questions, and it’s good to think things through, but when I find myself holding on so tightly to them, that’s where it begins to get messy. As soon as these thoughts enter my mind, I need to release them to God. He will carry all of my burdens.

One of these days, Max will remember that the water will return every time.

And one of these days today, I will remember that I can immediately hand my worry-filled thoughts over to God because He is faithful in all He does.

________________________________________

Abby Akers

Abby has been married to her college sweetheart, Wes, for 7 years. After 5 years of infertility, they began the journey of domestic adoption. Blessed with a (more than they had planned) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child, Max, last summer. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with Max’s birth family.  You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

Chuck E. Cheese Meltdown

I could have sobbed. The kind where you make crazy, uncontrollable noises. The kind where your face makes some unsightly expressions. The kind that gives you the worst headache ever. But, I didn’t.

Right in the middle of the chaos of Chuck E. Cheese, I was watching my son being held by his birthmom. It was beautiful, awkward, and humbling all at the same time.

It was beautiful.

She was staring at him, and Max was staring right back at her. I could see the love she has for him and I would love to know what is going on in her mind. I will never know all that she thinks and dreams about for our little Max, but I do know one thing. She loves him bad.

It was awkward.

There were times when I felt so insecure. I found myself being very guarded about what I told her in fear that one of my parenting choices would disappoint her. I need to get over that. It’s also hard to know how much to tell her. Does she want to know that he smiles now when I go to his crib in the morning? Or that he’s especially fond of “Merle the Monkey” on his activity mat?

It was humbling.

It hit me. She gave her son to us. Talk about feeling unworthy. I wish everyone could know what that feels like.

I wanted Max to smile for her. He didn’t. The entire 2 hours we were together, he didn’t crack one little grin. I was so bummed. I wanted to give her that gift. As we were heading to our cars, Max woke up and she wanted to take just one more picture. She leaned down to him and said, “I love you,” and he gave her a huge toothless smile. I’m pretty sure she did a little dance.

I think we were both very satisfied with how well the evening went, and we’re ready to do it again soon.

Oh yeah. When I got in the car, I sobbed.

________________________________________

Abby Akers

Abby has been married to her college sweetheart, Wes, for 7 years. After 5 years of infertility, they began the journey of domestic adoption. Blessed with a (more than they had planned) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child, Max, last summer. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with Max’s birth family.  You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

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