Finding Her Rhythm
Janie has been showing us a different side of her during these past few weeks. Tantrums…long ones…die hard not giving up and refusing to say “sorry” or “please.”
This morning was a perfect example. As soon as she got up and crawled up on the couch with me, she asked for a drink and before I could even answer she fell back and started kicking those feet together like I was going to tell her “no.”
The morning continued with many little battles with me praying my way through them. Battles of not wanting any socks to wanting socks to going through 4 pairs of socks to finally wearing socks…changing her pull up and not wanting the one I had and having to dump out the entire box of pull ups to find the exact one she wanted…falling on the floor because, I don’t even remember why…think I was praying to keep it together at the time!!!
Then…she is ready to go with her “duckys” for show and tell and a big ole smile on her face. I had to take a picture since it was hard to believe this little angel was so not a little angel all morning. Oh, the life of a 4 year old.
I took her happy little self to school and went to my happy place, the pool. I love to swim. It is my “nothing” time, free from any noise but the water. I do all my praying, problem solving, and deep thinking in that pool. I push myself hard and generally just feel better about life when I am finished. Many a day, Hank can just take one look at me and say, “I’m thinking you may want to go swim or run.” I know he is motivated by the fact that I’m nicer when finished.
As I swam today, I just could not get a rhythm, fighting the water instead of going with it. Thoughts were running through my mind about how some days swimming or running feel so great and other days it is plain hard, and you can’t get a good rhythm going. I had been praying for Janie and it hit me–that is what she is doing. She has lost her rhythm with our family. She has gone from her world in China to her world with her new family and sometimes it is just plain hard on her. This precious child is struggling in her own way: fits, bossiness, refusing to say please, etc. Madeline struggles many days with her place in this world and now Janie is showing me this side as well. I know through my experiences with Madeline that once she works it out in her little mind, she is oh so precious and sweet. My job is to help Janie work through this with understanding and love. I am learning to pray my way through these battles and try not to get caught up in them! I am thankful that this is a season and she will heal and grow over time. Oh how we love this child, brat and all.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”
Mine is a story of heartbreak and happiness with God’s enormous mercy upon me. I lost my first husband to brain cancer when we had been married 15 years. Our children were 8, 10, and 11. Shortly after his death, God blessed me with my husband Hank. We have been blessed with 3 more children, one the easy way and the other 2 through adoption. I did not start our blog until we were in the process of adopting our 2nd little girl from China. We live in Tennessee with our 3 youngest, 10, 5 and 4. Our older 2 are married and live in town and the original baby of the family is a senior in college. Our family is one crazy machine, lots of laughter and lots of whining!