Every Once in a While
For some reason, this week has been a little tough for me. Usually I feel very at peace with how Ruby is, but once in a while old dreams crop up and the “what ifs…” creep in.
Sunday morning, as part of his message, our pastor showed a beautiful picture of his granddaughter up on the screen. She is adopted from Ethiopia and her huge smile and gorgeous brown eyes would melt your heart. Mark and I both lost it when we saw that picture. We cried quietly together, in the middle of a church service.
I had no idea grief would hit me that morning, but the picture of this gorgeous, happy, little girl from Ethiopia reminded me of dreams I had for Ruby and for my future family.
Sometimes–once in a while–I wish things were different. I wish my daughter could tell me she loves me. I wish I didn’t have to have a special vehicle to transport her around. I wish she could run in the park with her brother and sister. I wish I didn’t have to worry about how I am going to lift her if she gets a lot heavier. These wishes cloud my thoughts–every once in a while.
Even so, God is faithful and I know He will continue to give me the strength and peace I need for each day.
And, at the end of the day, I still get to cuddle with my beautiful four year old whose huge smile and gorgeous brown eyes melt my heart. She makes this all worth it and I am truly thankful God trusted me to take care of her this side of heaven, even if it hurts sometimes.
After a trip to Haiti with our church, God placed adoption on our hearts. Sweet Ruby joined our family from Ethiopia four years ago and since then we added two biological children as well. Although all of Ruby’s needs were a surprise to us, we know God placed her in our arms for a purpose. We are so in love with her and we daily pray for God to give us the feet to walk the path He has in store for us. Follow her blog here.