Surrounded by Loneliness
Adopting is tough. I don’t think anyone will disagree with that statement. But for me, the most difficult part of this journey has been the loneliness. It’s the kind of loneliness that seeps into the marrow of your bones when no kindred heart can be found.
Seems silly doesn’t it? I have a ton of friends, so why would I be lonely? I even have several friends that have adopted children…adopted from places like China or Guatemala.
But I think that’s it…that’s the difference. I know lots of families that have adopted internationally but not so many that have adopted domestically. In fact, I only personally know one other family besides us that has embarked on this unique road.
It’s not that I think my domestic adoption is harder than your international adoption. It’s just different. It’s a different process with different timelines and different hurdles to clearn..
I don’t know what it’s like to wait for a Russian database to give me a referral and tell me if I can travel. But I do know what it’s like to wait for a birth mom to pick my family based on a few pictures in a scrapbook.
I don’t know what it’s like to travel to China and pick up my daughter from a foster care family or orphanage. But I do know what it’s like to watch my daughter being born from another woman’s womb only to return home empty handed.
Domestic adoption is lonely. Well-meaning friends often ask why we would subject ourselves to the stress of such uncertainty. And most days, I don’t really know how to answer them. I just know it’s what God has put on our hearts, it’s what he has asked us to do, it’s what we are doing.
I long for connection with women just like me, other moms pursuing adoption, right here, in the good ole’ USA. Not because it’s better or worse but because it’s different and different often equals lonely.
PS, the picture in the beginning of the post? That’s me…watching my adopted daughter Maggie being born. I even cut the cord. It was a surreal moment right up to the part when we returned home empty handed. See what I mean? It’s just different.
If you have adopted domestically or are in the process, we would love for you to link up your blog below Sharee’s bio. Our prayer is that you would connect with other families going through the same journey as you.
Sharee Morris is a wife, mother, follower of the Most High King, dessert junkie, dog loving, adventure seeking normal gal. She lives in Texas with her husband Chip and daughter Sydney. In her former life (pre-kid), Sharee was a broadcast journalism drop-out turned event planner and fundraiser. She even taught elementary school for a few years in hopes of building a perfect career to maintain while having kids. Sharee had everything planned out…or so she thought. In 2006, after the birth of her daughter, Sharee was hit hard with a life-threatening form of post-partum depression. You can read about her story HERE where she chronicles the details of her journey and how God revealed himself as the supreme rescuer. She continues to write about her adventures with God, committing to live out-loud the joys and sorrows this world has to offer. Currently, she and her husband are in the process of adding a second child to their family through an open domestic adoption.