Confessions From An Overpacking Adoptee
Take nothing for the journey, neither staffs nor bags nor bread nor money; and do not have two tunics a piece.
I confess, I admit it. I am guilty of overpacking for family vacations. This baby boomer nervously scans her closet and shoe racks multiple times and fills every nook and cranny of her suitcase to over flowing. When I’ve emptied half my closet, and I find myself sitting on my baggage forcing to close it, the relentless question still persists, “Have I forgotten something?” New luggage guidelines for weight limitations have not helped me cut back one bit. Do I really need to take 15 blouses for 7 days of travel? Makes not a bit of logical sense to me, but I am still compelled to repeat this ritual every time I pull my weathered suitcase out of storage for the next trip.
I seem to find solace in my over stuffed suitcase.
I spoke with another adoptee recently who was packing for a summer trip. She confessed to the same annoying habit I have of overpacking. Didn’t Jesus command in Luke 9 to travel lightly? He tells his disciples to not be concerned with procuring extra provisions for their journeys as they traveled to preach the gospel. Nagging guilt over my obssessive actions sends thoughts of condemnation coming my way.
I ponder the possible underlying motives of my mad packing. On the day of my humble birth as an adoptee, I was left all alone on the hospital delivery table without a family. Could it be that I felt the separation from everything familiar to me in the security of the womb–my birth mother, my birth family, my genetic connection, my cultural heritage? Ouch! Is it any wonder that I have a tendency to cling so tightly to things and find separation from my stuff so very painful? Taking my extra belongings with me seems to offer me a temporary sense of security and safety.
As God impresses these thoughts on my mind, the condemning voices begin to fade away. In their place, I hear the tender voice of Jesus, my Savior whispering to me,”I understand, I care, I don’t judge you.” And then he gently bids me to rest secure in His everlasting arms and to trust in His grace as my daily Provider, my trustworthy Father. He promises to never leave me nor forsake me. He offers to carry my every burden and encourages me to leave my extra baggage at home and travel light with Him.
Quite an irresistable invitation.
What an awesome traveling companion, what an faithful friend!
Jody Moreen has been involved in adoption ministry facilitating a Chicagoland surburban support group for 14 years with adult adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. As an adopted person, God has given her a passion to encourage others touched by adoption. She provides adoptee peer-support phone mentoring. She also hosts a private Facebook group Adoptee’s Anchor/Kindred Spirits for female adoptees 18 and up, providing a safe place to share and receive encouragement, fellowship with other adoptees, devotions, and prayer. You can contact her here.