The Nitty Gritty of Adoption

When we first announced our plans to adopt, many (though not all) of the responses we received were…shall we say…less than ecstatic. We weren’t expecting the same thrills and cheers that people receive when they announce when they’re pregnant. But, when sharing something that has begun to consume your heart receives a negative response, it stings a little bit.

This pic was our initial announcement.

To those who have never thought about adoption and have only been educated about it through the nightly news, it can be a foreign concept that stirs up feelings of risk, danger, impracticality, and fear. Why would you adopt when you can have biological children of your own? What if your adopted child is mean to your biological child? Why would you put your family at risk for something difficult when your life is so easy right now? You’re adopting from Africa, does your adopted child have a communicable illness? Are you sure having an interracial family is a good idea? (Just look at a current family picture for the answer to that one.) How can you love an adopted child the same as a biological child? You’re going to have all girls…doesn’t your husband want a biological son to carry on his name?

We’ve spent a lot of time defending our decision to adopt and will probably continue to do so. We realize it’s not something that everyone does and the unknown can be very scary for some. Not only is adoption changing our lives, but it’s changing the lives of our friends and family. Even though we are the ones who made the choice to adopt, our decision impacts many people. That can take awhile to come to terms with.

So why are we doing it?

To sum it up, we’re adopting because Christ loved us first and has adopted us into His family and kingdom. He has been to those dark, sick, nitty gritty places over and over and over again. I’m not talking about orphanages. I’m talking about places like my own heart. Had I seen the depths of my heart before I was rescued by Christ, I would have considered myself unadoptable because of the sickness in me. But Christ fought for me because I am worth it to Him. Love hopes and believes all things. We know that adoption won’t be easy. This will very likely be the most difficult thing we will ever do in our lives, but we are not afraid because the greatest glory and treasure often comes out of the greatest struggle. There will be challenges, sleepless nights, rebellion, bitterness, feelings of not belonging, doctor’s visits, inappropriate questions from strangers and friends, bad hairdos, delayed milestones, and much more. There will also be cuddles, laughter, new traditions, milestones reached, birthdays, “gotcha day” celebrations, 3 cultures to honor, shared clothing, sleepovers, and unconditional love and commitment.

We are not afraid.

We are not looking for easy lives.

We are looking for glory, hope, redemption, and love in every corner and crevice because our Creator God has placed it there. We’re not about the practical. We’re about the impractical, incomprehensible, wild and ridiculous love of our great Redeemer who has led us from brokenness and pain into His restored and delivered heavenly family.

To get to the point, we’re adopting, not in order to avoid challenges and risks, but to call out love and hope in the dark and difficult places. It’s there and we will not give up, because we were not given up on.

________________________________________

Sarah Pascual

Sarah Pascual lives in Atlanta, GA with her husband Jonathan and sweet 16 month old daughter, Aurora. Sarah works for a non-profit and Jonathan is the best stay-at-home dad ever. They began their adoption adventure in March 2011 when God opened their eyes to the millions of African children needing a family. Their initial plan was to adopt one child under age 2, but God enlivened their hearts to a set of 3 1/2 year old twin girls they are hoping to bring home within the next few months. Their journey is a road of grace, thankfulness, adventure, and love. You can follow their adoption journey here.

17 Responses to “The Nitty Gritty of Adoption”

  • This post was exceptional. I echo everything you said (except the Africa part – we’re doing foster-adopt). Thanks so much for writing it and God bless you on your amazing journey!

  • Amen! So well written. Blessings on your journey!

  • Oh how I understand this! We have had so many friends be excited for us but it only takes a few uneducated people to put a sour taste in your mouth. What a beautifully written piece…keep living adoption out loud! God will surely use your story to encourage others.

  • Brecken:

    I’m sorry you guys have felt alone in this process! I’ve been so excited for you guys & praying for you! Family, friends & the general public have a tendency to ask questions & say things in a way that can be hurtful, but they probably just see it as being inquisitive or taking interest. I have 3 biological sons & I’m still shocked (and hurt) at the things people come up with to say about my family. But my sons are just that–they’re family. And I am SO excited for you guys & your growing FAMILY. Hugs!

  • stephanie:

    Well said! Congratulations on your pending adoption(s)!!

  • Congratulations. My parents are going to China in a few weeks to adopt their 14th and 15th children, 11 of whom are adopted. As my mom has said on her blog http://andyweiwright.blogspot.com/ when asked to adopt two childen while in China, rather than just the one they were after, ‘if you have a chance to give someone a home and a family, how can you say no.’

  • Sarah you expressed these truths so well. I love your approach to your life– looking for glory etc in every crevice! So good! This approach will take you through every difficult time and keep it all in a glorious perspective. May you enjoy His glory and restoration in your family every day! (We live in Atlanta too:~)

  • Reez:

    I salute you for listening to your heart and making yourself available and willing. God bless your family!

  • I don’t even know you but my cousin linked me to your blog. Beautifully said! As an adoptive mom of three girls, I can tell you that all the love and laughter outweigh the hardships. Although adoption comes with alot of unknowns, we can enter into it confidently because we know the One who both created and knows intimately our adopted beauties! Blessings to you on this road!

  • Jessica Hilliker:

    beautifully said, Sarah! Congrats to you, Jonathan, & Aurora….thank you for setting your lights on a hill as you joyfully get your hands dirty doing adventurous, worthwhile, painful and glorious kingdom work!! we will pray for you as you continue on your adoption journey and display the glories of the Gospel…

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