Let’s Make Eyes
Today my daughter got off the bus with a new kind of story.
“Today I sat with ____ and ____.” These are girls she likes a lot. I was happy for her.
Glad to know she was beginning to make some friends.
“They say, ‘let’s make Chinese eyes.” She then proceeded to show me the infamous way to make Western eyes appear more slanted.
I froze. I think my heart stopped beating even. Was it starting already? Was she being made fun of for looking different than some of her peers?
I asked the ever-useful parent response, “So what did you do?”
This is where I should tell you I was already making my mental plan for how to handle this situation with the parents of said children…not that I’m a Mama Bear or anything…
I’ve heard that girls are meaner than boys but KINDERGARTEN?
“So what did you do?”
Without missing a beat she confidently replied, “I say I don’t need to make Chinese eyes. I already HAVE THEM!” And she smiled a huge smile.
I think I kissed her about a hundred times. Maybe more. But who’s counting?
While this story has a happy ending, some day it may not. The girl who already looks in the mirror and wishes her hair looked more like Sleeping Beauty and less like Mulan may very likely go through times where she questions her appearance, or worse. I hope not. I pray not.
The image-obsessed world we live in pounds at the hearts and minds of our daughters. I am forever talking about how what matters most is our hearts…but will it be enough?
My prayer is that the little girl I see who loves everything girly…clothes, shoes, fingernail polish…will one day realize that although these things are nice, beautiful even, they are nothing compared to the beauty that comes from a heart in love with Jesus. A heart that longs to serve others. And build others up. And be a friend to the lonely. One who longs with every ounce of her being to meet Jesus someday and hear HIM say, “Let me see those eyes. I love you. Welcome Home.”
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Jessemyn Pekari
Jessemyn is wife to Randall, mother to 4 busy kids (5, 8, 11, and 13) and is paper-chasing to bring home Violet Xin Ni from Shandong Province, China. When she comes up for air, she recovers by freelance writing, drinking too much coffee, and leading worship at the church in Connecticut where her husband serves as pastor. It’s not the life she planned, but it’s more than she could have imagined!
2 Responses to Let’s Make Eyes
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I don’t have any daughters but this was such a good reminder for me! Thank you for sharing your sweet girls story!
Great post…. As inclusive and tolerant as our society has become, there are still those little vestiges of stereotyping left in all of us. And we don’t even know it or recognize it till one of our kids (or someone else’s kids) speaks it out. Just yesterday, a member of my family posted that she’d like to marry a man of a certain ethnic background so he could cook that style food for her all the time. Her friend made a terrible, snide, stereotyped comment about the other benefits of marrying that ethnicity and until I pointed out to my son how limiting and “categorizing” it was, he thought it was kinda funny. EVEN tho he absolutely hates the stereotypes his friends seem to believe to be true about his “Asian” sister…..
Oh, and the “so what did you do?” is such a useful tool in parenting! I have found so often that it helps me take a breath and NOT rush forward in my own strength or “street smarts,” but to stop for a moment and ask for HIS wisdom. Plus, on a much lighter note, I have often (too often?!) found that IT really wasn’t at all what I thought it was gonna be and it’s saved me a ton of embarrassing moments. And NOT just with my kids!