This post is a reminder to myself. Because I’m not loving anyone well right now.
And, I am not so lovable or fun to be around.
You see, I am struggling greatly with how to really love.
Love that is absent of jealousy.
Like when I hear how smooth another person’s bonding/attachment is going with their newly adopted child.
Yea, I am jealous like that.
And, yet ,that isn’t love!
It isn’t loving my family or loving the way God brought our family together.
So, instead of seeing the growth and the lessons our Lord is teaching me through hard times,
I get jealous,
and then I start complaining,
about how it was SOOOO much harder for us than them,
and I blind myself to the goodness of my Savior.
I want a love that is does not take into account a wrong suffered.
Where I can walk through a time when I was hurt, deeply, by someone who said they loved me
and forgive them,
and hug them when I see them,
pray for them when they need prayer,
or hurt when they hurt.
Without holding it over their head how much I was hurt,
because that’s not forgiveness, nor is it love.
Am I the only one who feels like this sometimes?
When I should be loving and kind with my child who has been oh.so.difficult
And I am not.
And I hurt them with my words out of my frustration.
And I ask for their forgiveness, because I was the one who was unkind.
Why is this so hard?
To love others well. To love them like Christ calls us to?
I want to be more than I am now.
Not in a wordly sense like having more money, greater status, or more things to have around my home.
I want to be filled and overflowing with love,
for my family, my friends,
and the stranger I meet in the store.
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” Psalm 103:8
I am a mother to three (soon to be four) children, 6 chickens, 3 gerbils, 2 cats, 1 dog and a multitude of birds. I am married to my sweet & amazing hunk of a hubby, Michael, for the past 12 years. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom, I am honored to be a part of An Orphan’s Wish as their Human Resources Director and serve the children still waiting for families. Come check out the fundraising raffle we have going on right now on our blog as we try to raise the remaining money we need in order to bring our new 8-year-old daughter Gabriella home from China. Please consider donating and entering to win some great prizes from Fosterkade designs, Starbucks, Wild Olive Tees, and Jiayin Designs or a Kindle!
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