Mother’s Day Week: Thoughts on the Mothers
When we adopted Eva and Joy, I did not think about their birth mothers very often. Yes, they crossed my mind at certain milestones but not on a regular basis. Now that the girls are older, I’m older, and we have Ivy, I cannot help but think about their mothers. What were their reasons for giving up their daughters?
I wonder about Ivy. Was she abandoned because of her cleft? Maybe her mother could not afford to repair her lip? Was she scared by what she saw? Or is a sweet image of her newborn daughter forever stamped upon her mind?
Eva’s abandonment was obviously not because of her physical appearance or abilities. She was a beautiful, healthy, baby girl. I don’t know how her mother or father came to the decision they made. Was Eva the firstborn child? A girl, when they wanted/needed a boy? Was she a second child that the parents could not afford yet could not abort. Was her birth mother unwed? There are so many questions that I cannot answer for my sweet daughter.
Of course, with Joy, I have the same thoughts as with Ivy. Joy’s disability is a birth defect on her hand, probably amniotic banding. I know for me, I was not bothered by that. Maybe it was more than a young mother wanted? Joy is from a very small village near Wuchuan, a farming community. Was her family too poor to care for Joy?
Do their mothers think of these girls around their birthdays? Do they have regrets? Did they hope for more for their daughters? Did they know it was possible they’d be adopted and move to America? As I look at my daughters’ hands, I wonder whose hands they have? Their mothers’? Their fathers’?
Who does Eva get her snorty laugh from? Did Ivy always have such a gentle disposition about her? Did either of Joy’s parents have her temper? Whatever their reasons are, I’m thankful that they did choose life for their daughters. I’m thankful that I’ve been given the wonderful blessing of being their mother. I’ve not yet had to explain any of these things to my daughters. But, when a question as simple as “Why do we have belly buttons?” sets off a trail of thoughts through my mind, I’m thankful I have some time for God to give me words of wisdom because I don’t have it all figured out. But, being a mom, loving my children the way I do, I can only believe that these mothers loved their daughters in a way I cannot comprehend.
Cheri lives in Virginia with her husband, Mike, of 23 years. They have 3 biological children, ages 20, 16, and 11. After struggling with many pregnancy losses, they felt God was calling them to adopt a little girl from China. Upon returning home from their trip in 2006 to adopt Eva, they became more aware of the need of orphans. They traveled to China again in 2007 to adopt Joy. Always having the older children on her heart, but feeling incapable, Cheri felt an older child was in their future for adoption. In February 2010, Cheri traveled alone to Guangdong, China to adopt 7-year-old Ivy. Cheri started blogging to share her travels to China with friends and family but has also enjoyed sharing the ups and downs of adoption and family life.