On Fatherhood: She Misses Her Daddy
Originally posted in October of 2010…
Our little “L” has always been a daddy’s girl. Due to reasons I won’t go into here, she hasn’t seen her daddy for several weeks. Normally, she visits her parents once a week right after nap time. Lately, while putting her to nap or bed, she’s been asking “See Daddy?”
I always have had to respond the same. “No honey, you’re not going to see your daddy today.” I’ve shared with her that Daddy is having some troubles, and we should pray for him. We have discussed this more than a few times. The other night though, I had a heartbreaking conversation with our sweet girl.
For those of you who don’t know, L is our 2 year old (almost 3) foster daughter. We have had her in our home for approx. 1 month.
After tucking L in for her nap and singing “Jesus loves me” with her (per our tradition), I stood up to leave. Blowing her a kiss I said, “Goodnight darling!” But she had more to say.
L – “See daddy?”
Me – “No sweet girl, you’re not going to see daddy today.”
L – “Daddy in trouble?”
Me – “Yeah, honey your daddy is having troubles but daddy loves you.
L – “Daddy loves me? Mommy loves me? Grandma loves me? (L lived with her grandma most of her life before coming here.
Me – “Yes, you’re grandma’s little girl!”
L – “My grandma. MINE.” And then softly and sadly she said, “Miss her.”
L again – “See daddy?”
Me – “No, honey.”
L – “Daddy trouble? Daddy need help?”
Me – “Yeah, baby he needs help. We can pray for your daddy.”
And, we proceeded to pray for her daddy and mommy and the rest of her family (us included!).
As I got up to leave a second time, I kissed her sweet face and said “L, Mama Jami loves you so much.”
This breaks my heart. No child should have to deal with these questions but there are hundreds of thousands of kids in the U.S. foster care system alone who will go to bed with similar questions on their hearts tonight. Many of them have no one to talk these things through with. There are children in your community tonight who are going to bed alone. Going to bed feeling lost and abandoned. You might be the person God wants to use to whisper His love into their ears. To kiss them on the face and tell them they are loved. You might be the one to be Jesus to the child who is lonely, hurting, and abandoned.
God calls us as Christians to be His Hands and Feet to the lonely, to the fatherless, to the brokenhearted. There is a huge need for loving (not perfect) but loving foster parents right her and now. Could you add a bed (or two!) to a bedroom in your house? Could you pull up another chair at your dinner table? Are you willing to step out if the Lord says “go?” I just have to ask. Will you prayerfully consider your role in helping the poor and needy? We all have a role to play. Just take the next step. This is why we’re here.
Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of homes
Hi, I’m Jami! I love Jesus, and I just want to know Him more! I have been married to my man Clint for 10 years, and we are both passionate about foster care and adoption. Currently, we have six kids in our home (ages 7 and under!)–two daughters by birth, our son who we adopted from Guatemala, and three more we are fostering. Though I am always behind on laundry and sometimes feel like one more dirty diaper may just do me in, I receive exponentially more hugs and kisses too. How can one argue with that?! I love connecting with other women especially if a cup of coffee with whipped cream is in hand! I also do that through my blog and when I’m speaking to women’s groups or at orphan care events. My heart is to be a voice for the voiceless and mobilize those around me to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the world. I am doing that most recently through founding The Forgotten Initiative, a ministry of Lifesong for Orphans, to connect the Body of Christ to the needs of children and families in the foster care system.