Mother’s Day Week: I Hope I am as Good a Mother
I was at one of my classes. We were on break, and there was an older lady sitting diagonally across from me. We made eye contact and the uncomfortableness (is that a word?) of the moment made me talk….ok, I could talk to a rock, but still….so anyway, I just started rambling on about this and that and somehow we got on the topic of her mother. Her mother is 95 years old. She lives alone in Iowa somewhere and this lady (her daughter) goes to spend 1 week of each month with her. Her mother is completely independent. She lives in her home by herself and goes up and down stairs to do laundry…just aced her driving test and she has her own garden. She freezes her food for the winter months and gets one meal a day from meals on wheels. Truly amazing. She went on and on about how healthy she was and what an incredible lady she was…how she still drives to church, the post office, and the store when she needs something….so, I said, “Boy, you must be happy to have such good genes.” She said, “Actually, I was adopted, but I hope that the lifestyle my mother taught me will help me with that.” She kind of smirked and turned away towards the speaker who was just getting ready to start speaking again.
Hmmmm. Dangit. I didn’t get a chance to share, I thought to myself. She doesn’t know….did that matter? Probably not. Why did it matter so much to me that I share with her? I knew I might not get a chance to talk to her ever again. Would she know how much she blessed me that day? I mean…do you as adoptive parents ever wonder if your children are going to love you so much that they will stay with you when you are 95? I mean…really with you, like come and stay with you for a week. every month. Ok, the Momma in this situation CLEARLY did something right, right? I think I need to go and stay with her for a week to learn from her.
So, yes, I did grab the lady during the next break and made sure that I told her that three of my children were also adopted. I told her that I hoped that I was as good a mother as her mother so that when I am 95 my children will come and take care of me for a week. She just kind of giggled and said how blessed my children were. “No, my children are in fact the blessing in my life,” I answered. It was so interesting the connection we had during such a very short time frame.
Here was this adoptive mother (me) in my very late thirties talking to a lady who was in her 60s and was an adopted child, and we were able to share what a blessing that an adoptive mother and adoptive children are to each other. I know, I know, common sense, right? But, it was as if we had heard it for the first time. For some reason, it meant so much more to me coming from her than it would from someone who doesn’t have any adoption connection.
I am a stay at home mother of four kids, two dogs, and one cat and am very blessed to be able to do so. I am married to a wonderful husband who works very hard for all of us. In addition to being a mom, I am also an occupational therapist and, in the past, spent most of my time working in long-term care facilites with the elderly. We struggled with infertility issues after the birth of my oldest son, and God led us to adoption…3 times…from Russia. I have also spent time counseling birthmoms and enjoy doing this very much. Hopefully, as my children get older, I will be able to spend most of my time doing this. One of my favorite things to do in my spare time is blog. Currently, I post on two separate blogs–I Love You More Than Peanut Butter and Lakeshore Cottage Living.