I have to say that I have been pleasantly surprised! We have actually received no negative comments to our announcement that we are adopting again.

That includes negative comments from family as well!

Well, at least none that were made directly to US.

:inhale:exhale:smile:

But, we have had lots of questions. Mostly the regular ones:

How expensive is it?
What made you decide to do this again? (asked with true sentiment)
How many kids do you have now? Do they all get along?
How do you find the time and energy?

Here is my favorite funny one: I guess China expects you to come back every year now?

And then I received the most profound comment the other day.

I don’t know what made me so acutely aware of the words…that probably means it’s a GOD thing.

“So…you guys are yet again committing yourselves to another life.”

I actually just…stopped. It was like the whole world was in slow motion at that moment.

You might say…ALL THAT over a simple comment?

But, it’s not simple. For me, it was quite clear how double the meaning was.

YES…we are committing ourselves to another LIFE. Bella’s life. We will be promising to love her, care for her, provide her an education and medical care.

And YES…we are committing ourselves yet again to another LIFE. Meaning the way we live, the way we spend our money, the way we view the orphan crisis, the way we view society, the way society views US.

I think that last reason is the one that has caused my husband to take pause.

The way in which society views US.

I mean…the first thing that our social worker (SHE’S THE BEST!!!!) said to us when we sat down to do the homestudy for Bella’s adoption was “Anyone called you crazy yet???” We both laughed.

Sometimes the comments ain’t pretty which is something I truly don’t understand. And, sometimes it’s quite interesting.

Here is an example from last week’s outing to Jake and Kiah’s Belt Ceremony at the karate school.

I sat next to a family whose 2 children started karate on the same exact day as Jake and Kiah. We began talking about the kid’s belt progress and having casual conversation about the mom’s new 3 month old son. You know…burps, formula, giggles, and sleeping through the night.

And then, it got interesting.

THE MOM: So, what have you been up to?

ME: (blah blah blah talking about regular life as I hold her baby) and you may have heard that we are adopting again.

THE MOM: Again? (brief pause) WOW! (more loudly) Like WOW! I mean WOW! (super loudly with giggling) MOM! (now addressing her mother) MOM! They are adopting AGAIN! (people around us start staring.)

The G’MA: Again? (LOUDLY) WOW! This is like big WOW! WOW!

THE MOM: I know! (shaking head and looking at me) WOW! Just WOW!

And, I am not kidding. There was lots of WOWs flying around because they just didn’t know what to say to me. It wasn’t “genuine” WOWs but “let’s fill up this uncomfortable space with sound” WOWs.

Then I entered the daycare last Friday to pick up Logan and Ava. Evidently the kids have been talking about Bella at school. I figured it wouldn’t be long before one of the teachers asked me questions…especially with the kids drawing family pictures that include a child missing a hand and foot.

I walked in and one of the ladies (who is quite young and who I don’t know) whispered “That’s her.” I smiled and kept walking. She came up to me and said “Are you the one adopting the baby with no hand and foot? Don’t you have like….lots of kids already?”

Truthfully….I don’t get it sometimes. Why the mention of adopting again sends people into a tizzy.

We don’t want to be WOW. In fact, I think that this whole weird reaction thing can make some people decide NOT to adopt that next child. It was definitely a line item on my husband’s list of reasons to say NO to adopting again. He didn’t want to be teased and cajoled by co-workers. He didn’t want to be stared at. He didn’t want to have to answer crazy questions. He didn’t want to be talked ABOUT. I have spoke with 2 other dads who have adopted lots of kids as well and they admitted to feeling the same way.

Although they WANT to do God’s work….they don’t want to be “outcasts” per se or viewed as those weird people for committing to this different LIFE.

And that’s tough.

But, I reminded my husband….Jesus was viewed as an outcast and as a weird person. Sometimes, we just gotta put our blinders on and look at only one thing…GOD.

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Nicole

Nicole is a Christian wife and mother to 6 amazing blessings and one more on the way! She has a 20-year-old daughter Katelyn who is homegrown and 5 miracles through International Adoption:  Jacob (8) was adopted from Russia and Kiah (6), Luke (5), Logan (4), and Ava (4) were adopted from China. They are waiting for blessing #7 from China…a precious little girl named Bella (1). She is passionate about orphans and special needs adoption. You can read more about her and her family here.