I always know when Steve is home…no matter where I am, Aiden comes yelling though the house “Mom, Dad’s Home!!!”
Many times, I just say “Yes, baby, Daddy is home.” Usually, Steve has brought home groceries of some sort, and 3 year old Aiden loves to help bring in the bags…still yelling to anyone who missed the 1st announcement that daddy was home.
However, occasionally, when I hear him yell this happy news, like today,…
my own emotions get the best of me. The “mommy” in me feels sad for those years that he didn’t have a daddy (or any family). It is difficult to explain. I guess the best way to explain it is a mourning for what my child missed those first months or years of their lives. Yes, of course, I am happy for what they have now, a home, a family.
However, they are MY children. And, just like I would feel for my birth children, I feel a sadness, and a thankfulness, for what they have come through. Sometimes, I find myself saying to my newest little son, as he snuggles into my chest to rest and receive love, “It’s nice to have a mommy, isn’t it?” I’m not thinking how wonderful I am or anything, I am feeling emotions of gratefulness that he has a mommy to snuggle him, because I love him so much and for 7 months he didn’t have a mommy. When Kiana first came home from China, my parents came right away to meet their newest granddaughter. As I watched them loving on her, I had some of those same feelings. “She now has a Dandy and Gommy…a few days ago, she had no one!” My birth children always had all of these blessings and people that loved them, but my children home through adoption did not. Their stories started before we brought them home. And, often those stories included loneliness, hunger, and fear.
Of course we, as mothers, should and we do help our children heal from those early pains, but I guess I am realizing that we as the mothers should also realize and help our mother’s hearts heal because we love them, and WE HURT also for what they have come through.
So, when my little man yells with all the happiness that his 3-year-old body can hold that daddy is home, and I feel that familiar sadness and thankfulness, mourning and joy…I am going to look into his eyes and say “Yes, baby, Your daddy is home.”
Steve and Shonni love living in beautiful Colorado, where they enjoy a busy and fun life with their family. Parents to 11 children, some of their passions are the Bible, family, photography, orphan ministry, home education, and herbs. You can read more about their family and their daily life–and their journey to adopting a little boy from China–on their personal blog.